The Taboo of InfertilityMaría Arellano
Do you remember how you felt when you got a bad grade back in school, but you wanted to keep it a secret just so that your parents wouldn’t say anything to you? I perfectly remember how I felt when I got that C on math in 3rd grade… It wasn’t that bad (I was a terrific student), but the fear was real! I remained frustrated for a couple of weeks, but ultimately it was all in vein because they would eventually find out.
Well, that’s exactly how I feel about infertility. Being on the verge of exploding because of keeping a secret to yourself for so long is not something nice, but most importantly, it is not necessary. Wait…, what did you?! What do I mean by this you say? It’s simple, there is absolutely no reason for you to keep infertility a secret. It is a taboo as long as YOU want it to be. YES, that’s right! It is THAT simple.
Let’s put it into perspective: back when you were in school, your parents’ reaction to something you did was an understandable fear, but at this point in your life, as the responsible adult you are today, I guarantee you there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s not like some else’s reaction might change the situation for the better or worse… It is just a phase, and one you can get out of!
Nowadays there are plenty of ways of getting around infertility. This is no longer a barrier for you to get pregnant. Trust me when I say it is just a matter of persistence. I always remained strong until the news finally arrived (after two years specifically), and people were always there for me, unconditionally.
The taboo surrounding infertility is a state of mind; it grows bigger if you let it do so. I assure you talking about it with others will reduce whatever burden you have on your shoulders, or even make it disappear. Remember, it is not just you in this; your friends and family are right there with you. Most importantly, your partner is right there with you as well. Don’t become isolated!
The key here is to support each other, as you always have. After all, you will reach the goal if you keep on trying, no matter what. Just like I should have done back in school when I got that C: if I was having a hard time on the first place, I should have just asked for help instead of dwelling deeper into my own problems by myself. What a difference support from others can make!